Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Flagrant Foul Pls

Go read this article over on Deadspin and then come back. Done? Hookay. There seems to be strategic trend in the direction of full-tackle basketball. The hack-a-center/forward is a statistical safe bet. Foul the big guy on the easy layup or dunk and watch em brick the FTs. Defenders famously make an artform of fouling Shaq, exploiting his ~50% from the line (and of course, hack-a-Haywood is about as sure a bet as any). However, maybe my memory lasts only a season but the fouls seem to be getting harder and harder. A hard foul is one thing, but seriously, its getting ridiculous. Last night, at the -avs game, Julie and I watched Ryan Hollins take Tyson Chandler to the ground in full on headlock. Not an "oops I was going for the arm but got wrapped up" headlock, but more of a "you're going down/prison yard brawl" kind of headlock.

I don't want to sound like I don't think that basketball is a physical game. And I certainly don't want to advocate for NFLesque penalties to safeguard players. But the Flagrant Foul 1 and 2 already exist in the rules. Unnecessary (flagarant 1) and unnecessary and excessive (2) certainly cover many of the Griffin fouls on the Deadspin video, as well as the Chandler/Hollins headlock. I am all for trying to play the odds on a poor free throw shooter, or trying to prevent the momentum gain from a monster dunk or fast break layup, but if you can't stop it with a "reasonable" foul, then you might need to hit the weight room to beef up. Either that or don't get burned on the fast break. Resorting to flagrant fouls is like throwing a temper tantrum under the basket. The last thing we need is for players to get seriously hurt because some flat footed defender couldn't pick up the screen and resorted to a flying tackle to prevent two points. What do ya'll think, let 'em play or start giving out the fouls?

Here he is!!!!


TYSON.




Monday, February 7, 2011

My play by play - mavs won. Youre welcome.

NBA.com Power Rankings



I have long theorized that there is some kind of skewed perspective going into the decision making of what NBA.com's weekly Power Rankings should be. This week proved that I was giving them a bit too much credit.

After this week's choices of:

1. Spurs (42-8)
2. Celtics (38-12)
3. Heat (37-14)
4. Bulls (34-15)
5. Lakers (35-16)

... it is now painfully obvious that the staff of NBA.com literally have no clue what is going on at any given moment in professional basketball.

I have now come to the conclusion that every Monday morning, NBA.com's Online Media Coordinator (AKA Suzie the Secretary), takes out her handy dandy NBA.com Power Rankings Decision Wheel and goes to town.





What do YOU think, Alaska?

UPDATE - ACTUAL NEWS



JUST ANNOUNCED - Peja Stojakovic will make his debut as a Dallas Maverick TONIGHT!



Could Roddy B. be next?


With that pesky superbowl out of the way, we can focus on what really matters.





The battle of the -avs. That's right. Tonight, in a much anticipated showdown, the Dallas Mavericks (35-15) host the Cleveland Cavaliers (8-43).

Dallas is currently working through the toughest schedule in the NBA (#1 SOS), and there is no break in sight. Little could distract from the epic battle that will take place tonight, but Mark Cuban has something up his poorly fitted, sweat stained, heathered Cuban gear Maverick's tee sleeve.

TYSON CHANDLER BOBBLEHEAD NIGHT!




Check it out here.

I will of course be giving a play by play update on this blog, on the subject line only. Like a G6.



For the gentlemen

It is Monday and as none of you know today is...

~ ~ ~ HOT ASS GIRLS MONDAY ~ ~ ~
(insert fireworks and explosions)


The above is my personal favorite.





Here at Below the rim, yo we like to keep it classy so no boobies for you.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Miami Heat vs LA Clippers - Who cares?

The Miami Heat are currently playing the L.A. Clippers and the NBA staff are probably all convulsing on the floor of their cubicles, not able to deal with the pressure of having to decide whose ego to stroke first. So, to entertain our viewers (I'm talking to YOU Alaska), I thought I would feature........


NBA PLAYERS (past and present) THAT REMIND US OF OTHER THINGS/PEOPLE


First up - an old Mavericks favorite JERRY STACKHOUSE & QUARK from Startrek.




Second we have BLAKE GRIFFIN AND ANY OF THE PLANET OF THE APES PEOPLE APE THINGS.....






Third - BARON DAVIS and KANYE WEST.... Bubba Gump is a close second here.





STAN VAN GUNDY & RON JEREMY (it really is uncanny, isn't it?)




And finally........ paying a little homage to Chris Bosh's old team...




What do YOU think, Alaska? Do you agree? Can you think of any other lookalikes that I missed?



Did you know you can only type in the subject line when posting from your iPhone? True story.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Mavs @Celtics Half-Time Report

After following the game via mexican ESPN, I can safely say that, thus far, this has been a very close match up, as anticipated.

~ ~ ~ SHORTY SHOWDOWN ~ ~ ~


vs.


JJ Barea stands at an intimidating 6 ft while Robinson showcases 5 ft9 in of power.
So far JJ is leading the Mav's offense with 11 points - outscoring Robinson who only has 6.

WHO WILL COME OUT AHEAD TONIGHT?? place your bets in my paypal account.


Important things to notice:
(and by important I mean random)

  • Those undershirts that have only one sleeve look really weird.
  • Mark Cuban is ranked #400 on Forbe's Worldwide Billionaries List (crazy).
  • Garnett still has that maxipad on his head.


Despite this being a good game, watching Boston play is not nearly as entertaining an activity as it was last season.



BOY

Featured player for the day

Sometimes we will feature random NBA players. It may or may not be someone that we like, but you'll have to figure that part out on your own. So, without further bull shit, I give you Tyson Chandler. Let's see if you can figure out if we like him or not.









I think all of his highlight reels should be to this song.

Le sigh...

Hello!!!

Welcome to our blog! We are a couple of short baller wannabes and one very tall statistician. We will be posting basically eight hundred times a day, so you should probably sit at the computer and constantly hit refresh, or else you'll miss something muy importante. We are also bilingual. QUE SE CHINGUEN LOS SPURS!!!!!!!!!!!

PAUL PIERCE STOLE MY LUNCH MONEY

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